A Reason To Smile
by jazz91121
Summary: Allen is not one to waste smiles on the world. For all his living, he has never found a good enough reason to smile, after Mana died. Then Kanda came. Was he the one that would be able to break the blank mask?


**Hey guys! So this is a one shot for Yullen! WARNING! Kanda and Allen switch personalities :P Oh yeah.. There is a fair amount of Yaoi in this one. Like not just kissing. Yeah... I'm really not sorry :P Welp! Enjoy my friends!**

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**Allen's point of view...**

"BOOM!" I dodged the incoming bullet, taking in another breath. "Crown Clown!" I yelled, my white cloak covering me. Slicing through more akuma, I landed gracefully on my feet.

The battle was coming to a close, and the akuma were losing. Lenalee landed next to me, and she smiled at me. She was pretty, but not my type.

There had been plenty of women in my life, (thanks to Master Cross) but I had never had any interest. After the battle, we walked to the cafe to go eat.

"So Allen have you heard?!" Lavi said excitedly. I sighed. "What now?" I asked with a blank face. He pouted. "There's someone new here! His name is Yuu Kanda! But he's a real grouch. Almost as grouchy as you!"

I glared at him, returning to my food in silence. Lenalee laughed as I grumbled under my breath, trying to convince myself I wasn't grouchy.

I hadn't smiled in years sure, but that was ever since Mana died. I had never had a reason to smile. Maybe that's why my hair had gotten so white.

From shock, I suppose. Suddenly, there was yelling. I looked up, seeing a beautiful man clutching the jacket of a finder.

I sighed, standing up and making my way over to them. I hated fighting. Everyone here knew that. "Oi! Let go of me!" The finder yelled, struggling in vain.

I grabbed the beautiful man's hand, and he glared at me. "There's no need to be fighting with anyone. Your name?" I asked with disdain.

"Che. Like I'd tell you Moyashi." He said, and my eyebrow twitched. My eyes narrowed at him, and he smirked. Then I remembered what Lavi had said.

"So you're Yuu Kanda?" He scoffed. "Yes. Baka. I'm the only new person here aren't I?" I growled, quickly turning away and marching to my room...

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Roomates!? With him?! I was infuriated! I sat down on my bed, my head in my hands. I sighed. It wasn't him in particular, just having someone in this room.

It was the reason I had been alone for so long. I had nightmares. Almost every night. And most of the time, I woke up screaming. Or crying. Mostly both.

Laying down, I closed my eyes, letting the darkness surround me...

**_In his dream..._**

_"Keep walking." I glanced around. The same dream. Again. "You're so ugly." "No one likes you." You're stupid." "Failure."_

_Mana, lying crushed by the cart. Blood, everywhere. The Earl, asking me about Mana, and if I wanted him back. _

_My earlier memories, of my mom and dad rejecting me. Living on the streets. And then, the worst. I was stabbed through the heart and then..._

**_ENDDDD_**

I woke up screaming. Stumbling to the bathroom, I fumbled for the razor. Sliding it across my wrist, I pulled in a shaky breath.

I couldn't breath. Couldn't find the life in me to live. There was nothing and everything and everyone. I, the one who could not even smile.

But really, I would not like to be like the ones who faked the smiles. I do not wish to show the world something that so many fake.

**PAGEEE BREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

"Baka! Don't jump in front of people to save them! I'm perfectly fine!" Kanda said, emotion swimming in his eyes. "As long as you're okay." I said softly, wincing at the pain in my side.

"You're an idiot." Kanda mumbled, resting his forehead against mine. He was holding me, because I had taken the attack that was meant for him.

"You're the only one I have left." I said fondly, my hand grasping his. "Baka! You... you don't know! I regenerate faster than most people! I can't die! And I-I love you... Scars and all..."

The last part was said so softly, that I thought I had heard wrong. After years and years, a smile finally fell upon my lips... Too bad it was my last...

**_Flashbacks..._**

_"Oi! Moyashi! Why do you... You woke up crying again." I scowled, turning on my side. "If it bothers you, leave." I said gruffly. I heard a sigh and then there were arms around me._

_My face turned bright red. "Wh-What are you doing?!" I asked, my back to him. "You were shaking." He mumbled, nuzzling into my neck._

_My face felt warm, and I turned around in his arms. "I-I'm fine." I said softly. "Are you really?" He whispered, leaning closer. "If you kiss me, maybe I will be."_

_I said breathlessly. He kissed me softly, making my heart race. Maybe that's why I had never had any interest in girls..._

* * *

_"Y-Yuu!" I moaned as he kissed down my chest. My hands griped his hair and my head was turned to the side. He slid up, thrusting into me and my grip tightened. _

_"All this time I've known you, you've never smiled." He said breathlessly, kissing my swollen lips. "I've never had a reason." I said, moaning again. _

_He kissed down my chest and back up again, his eyes like blue fire. My lips twitched, almost as if they were longing to smile again. He must have saw it because he paused in his patterns to say something._

_"Then I'll be your reason..."_

* * *

_"Do you mind?" I asked, trying to fold my clothes. "Nope!" Kanda said, popping the "p". He had come up behind me and wrapped me in a hug._

_My lips twitched, threatening to pull up in a smile. Kanda's eyes widened and he poked me. "You almost smiled didn't you!" My face turned red and my lips turned down. _

_"N-No." Kanda laughed, kissing me on the cheek. "I'm glad it's easier for you to smile now." He said softly, smiling at me..._

* * *

_"So what's going on between you and Kanda?" Lenalee asked as she put another stack of papers away. I frowned even more than usual. _

_"Am I supposed to be doing something with him?" She laughed. "No he's just been very... Happy? For a grouchy person at least. And there's something different about you. Your eyes sparkle now!"_

_Red blazed across my cheeks. "No-Nothing is really going on... We just uh... We're dating?" It came out as more of a question, and her eyes widened. _

_"Really! I'm so happy for you!" My lip twitched. It had been doing that a lot lately. Turning away, I put a book on the shelf. "Does he make you smile?" She asked me._

_I stayed silent. I wasn't even sure. Maybe that twitch in my lip meant something..._

* * *

_"A-llennn!" You should come cuddle with me instead of studying!" Kanda whined from the bed. He was drunk. Well, acting like it at least._

_My lip twitched and went up slightly. "I can't." Was all I said in reply. He pouted and threw a pillow at me. I caught it, just as he threw another and another._

_I sighed, standing up. He squeaked when he saw my evil look. Pouncing on him, I pinned him to the bed, kissing him. "Hey before this next mission, you need to smile for me." _

_Forcing the corner's of my mouth down, he pouted. Finally, I smiled. Only around him could I smile. "Why am I the only one you can smile around?" I laughed, nuzzling into him. _

_"Because you are the one most precious to me." I said softly, smiling again. It felt good to finally be able to smile. To have a reason for joy..._

* * *

"You can't." Kanda said, tears, a rare show of emotion, falling onto my pale white face. "You, the one who never smiles, deserves one last chance! I can't allow this!" He said, his tears coming faster now.

We were off of the battle field, and the nurses were running around, trying to find a way to save me. The Akuma had wounded me badly, and even now, I could barely keep my eyes open.

"I love you." I whispered. I could faintly hear the machine flat-lining. Was that me? Dying? "I love you too! You'll be okay! You'll be fine!" He said, trying to stay calm but I heard the panic.

I smiled at him, and he started crying harder. "I thought that you wanted me to smile for you?" My smile faltered slightly as the pain got worse.

"Not like this. Never like this damn it! I can't.. I can't do this without you." I held up my hand weakly, and he put his hand in mine. "Promise me something."

He nodded. "Anything." I took a deep breath. "You have to find a reason to smile! If I don't..." I trailed off. "You have to keep smiling okay? Don't become like me."

His tears were mixing with the blood that was on his face. He nodded. "Okay." I smiled, this one brighter than the last, I'm sure. "You're the only reason I'll smile..."

* * *

**... Well that turned out a little different... Man that was awesome! Please review and tell me what you think! AHHHHHHH! Thank you so much for reading!**


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